I Didn't Know What to Do

I didn't know what to do
I was in shock
I watched you peel us down to the bone
I offered everything, anything- the dimmest light
You suffocated every glimpse

I didn't know what to do
I didn't want to believe my eyes
Everything I knew was slipping
Shattering
It was slow, it stung in every pore of my body
Too slow
I held on so tight but I only felt vapors between my fingers

I didn't know what to do
I just tried to show you I can support
I can love
There is always love
I will always love
I was being brave for us

I didn't know what to do
When my love broke every promise
When my love needed me to understand

I didn't know what to do
When I had dreams every night for a week
Torturing me
Keeping me humble
How dare I think I could've moved on

I didn't know what to do
When my body felt so much pain
Beyond three in the morning
Urging to call him
I wouldn't know what to say
I miss you
Nothing is as it should be
These songs remind me of everything I believed in
I don't know who I am without you
I don't want to be who I am without you

I didn't know what to do
When he told me that he was disappointed
Because he's never seen me as happy
as when I was with you
He told me he doesn't think he could ever
Be you
You

I didn't know what to do
When I woke up
Thinking of you
And his body was next to mine
I put my fingers through his hair
And I felt you

I didn't know what to do
My body felt numb
Limp
Dead
Whose body is this anyway

I didn't know what to do
Am I supposed to call
To fight
Is this my fault
How do I see in color
When will anything feel real

I don't know what to do.